One of the toughest challenges that I faced growing up has been centered around the concept of identity. Never was I sat down with my parents and told this is who your grandma and granddad were and this is what they did. I hardly know my grandparents and their parents or the life they lived. I hardly know what traits (good or bad) I inherited from them. Subsequently I had a problem in one of my grade 7 history classes when we did heritage, because I simply did not know where I come from.
There is such a common stereotype and tendency within the culture I am born into. It centres on the fact that we are the divide of the nation, because we do not have a single racial heritage as our great grandparents, grandparents and sometimes parents are black, white or Indian and we are a mix of those. It goes further to classify us as either first or second generation “coloured” people. Recently, I found out that my maternal grandfather is German. However, I never heard this because my mother never knew her father until much later in her life. It is rare and more difficult to find strong roots for identity when one does not have any record of who one’s grandparents and great grandparents were.
There is yet another more alarming trend in today’s society. Children are growing up in an ever growing fatherless home and fatherless society. Over the past decade there has been a spike in teenage pregnancies and an ever growing disappearance of fathers, primarily due to their unwillingness to carry out the consequences of their actions. This is alarming because 10-20 years down the line; one won’t just have any record of one’s great grandparents, but no record of one’s father as well. This leaves a huge gap in one’s heritage. I fear this disappearance of fathers in today’s society may lead to more probing questions around identity for the future of our country.
There seems to be a generational pattern of erosion of identity and moral responsibility in today’s society. Which probes the question, where would one then find one’s identity? From struggling to place oneself in one or the other race to having no record of a father, certainly eradicates one’s identity?
I recently had the pleasure, along with my fellow team mates, of visiting Drakenstein Palliative Hospice (DPH) day care centre called Butterfly House near Paarl. This phenomenal day care centre is run by Elizabeth Scrimgeour, a great friend of SAWIP. Upon arriving at the Hospice we were pleasantly surprised by an organised march involving the children, staff and youth of Butterfly House. Instead of sitting down in a dialogue or presentation like so many of our activities, we got our hands dirty and took part in an exciting and joyful march around the community to celebrate the 21st anniversary of the DPH and the contributions it has made to the upliftment of society. Walking through the streets of this impoverished community, I noticed a lot of things, one of which was seeing shacks and brick houses in the same street, opposite one another. During a discussion later that afternoon Elizabeth told us that the entire community was solely informal and only recently have decent houses been built. I found it fascinating watching the children play and sing and being so care-free. With the majority of them living in dysfunctional homes, one would never have guessed this simply because of their joy and the wonderful talent that they have. These kids certainly made me reflect on my childhood and I saw myself in many of them.
What isn’t obvious about Butterfly House is the impact it is having on the identity of these children. I recently stressed this; that if you really want to help somebody living in poverty, to make a success of their life, you have to take them out of that environment and constantly expose them to something better...to hope. In other words, make hope almost tangible through constant exposure to inspirational and uplifting people and activities. This hope then shapes the minds of these children and subsequently their identity and where they see themselves in society and the future.
Through the various activities and amazing people working at the Butterfly House, these young children are finding a new identity. They are finding a more worthwhile sense in Ubuntu (I am because you are) and Ubuntu is becoming ever more positive in the lives of these youngsters.
If one cannot find identity in one’s heritage or past then there is still hope, because there is identity in one’s future, dreams and vision. I was able to find identity in my family and heritage, but it was not the identity I wanted to have, because the only identity I saw was being poor and inferior. However, through hope I created a new identity, I found identity in the man I must become, in the leader I am meant to be. I strongly believe it is this identity that needs to be instilled in the hearts and minds of our society. We are all aware of our South African history and heritage, but we should no longer look back and establish for ourselves who we are, rather look ahead and ask who must I become? In this way our children and their offspring may find this new identity that we are shaping right now. This I believe is our legacy.
“Hope has wings. Butterfly wings” – Butterfly House
