Three months later and I find myself being stuck in an idle mind. Even though I think critically about things and generate ideas, that’s just about where it ends; I don’t act on my ideas and whenever I do it is usually to the wrong thoughts. I found myself leaving things for the last minute so that I could feel some resemblance of excitement and motivation to get something done. I soon became bored and frustrated with myself; this was followed with guilt for not working as hard as my SAWIP team mates. But of course for me the hard work was a thing of the past and I felt entitled to this resting period. I never understood why it is said; “Never allow victories to become obstacles”. I understand now that victories can as quickly turn into obstacles as the adversity that stood between oneself and those victories. It is an inconvenient truth, but one must work tirelessly and never rest for too long after an achievement, because it’s when we are in a state of rest that being comfortable sets in, and being comfortable leads to mediocrity.

Coming back to South-Africa after such a fantastic experience was wonderful, but also challenging, because what waited was a different challenge than that of D.C. Surely nothing and no one could have prepared or warned me of the impending trap that lie waiting in the midst of my home; it was the trap of mediocrity and indifference, and of course coming off the rigorous curriculum in Washington D.C. I was inclined to rest for a while, but not too long. I did, however end up resting too long. I could blame a number of things; the fact that it was the winter season upon returning, reverse jetlag, having passed my degree and only doing one subject this semester. And how does one keep the momentum of that phenomenal D.C journey coming back to South-Africa after such a rigorous programme? I literally had no reason to get up early or work hard, because the worst was behind me, I just had to wait to graduate end of this year and that was it.

Through falsely believing that I had done all I could do, I fell into a state of mediocrity and passivity. I slowly blended back into a passive society, into a normal and ordinary life. I did not realise the so called ‘rest’ I thought I am entitled to, would swiftly turn into quicksand of indifference and passivity. But remembering that I am a part of SAWIP and being around the team makes me realise how extraordinary we are and how extraordinary we can be, if we live responsibly. Being responsible for who you are and who you want to be.

When people talk to me they always ask; “What was it that made you change so radically as to motivate you to rise out of poverty and be able to go to Washington D.C? How did you do it?” I can never give a satisfactory answer to this, because I myself do not know how I did it. However, the ‘How’ wasn’t the most important thing, it’s ‘Why’ that is the right question to ask; why did I do it? And in light of this question I began to unravel within myself a sense of another transition. But what is there to transcend through when I have transcended my circumstance? What is left to conquer? Did I not achieve my goal of obtaining my degree despite the odds?

There is one transition all of us should go through at one stage of our lives; the acknowledgement and acceptance of who we truly are and bringing that forth into physical reality. I find myself at the brink of this transition. Although I have gone through so many challenges before, it is clear nothing is as difficult as facing oneself and acknowledging change needs to happen. It is true, only when we understand the difficulty in changing ourselves do we understand the difficulty in changing others. We as the change agents of our country need to be fully aware of the significance of this universal truth, because only then will we become the change we want to see in the world.