This is my last blog post as a member of the SAWIP Class of 2012 before we graduate. Undoubtedly, this journey has been one of the most rewarding, and challenging seasons of my life to date. Below is a letter to you, the readers of our blog posts, about closing remarks as I would write in my personal manuscript – my diary entry I guess.

Dear friends and future friends of SAWIP

Understanding you, understanding me

I carry a SAWIP legacy with me. It is uneasy for me to really explain what that means. A lot of it has to do with understanding the next person, situation, and it has to do with understanding myself. Much of this year, and to a large extent my tertiary training has been about courageous conversations and exploring my intellectual imagination. When I try to explain to someone what SAWIP is and what it is to me for the first time, I almost always speak about how it has broadened my world. I am now able to see things in many, different lights. Honestly! I now better understand that with many (if not all) issues, are many facets to assess. There are amongst others cultural, environmental, legal, philosophical, political, psychological, religious, spiritual, scientific, and a whole lot more schools of thought to be evaluated in any given situation. I value that. It’s opened up my world – enlightened it.

Growing pains

During this season of my life, I have been faced with many frustrations, with and for various reasons. Perhaps indirectly, but I have reflected on some of these growing pains in previous blog posts. It has all been worth it. It’s made me more resilient. The growing pains that I have experienced have allowed me to an extent, identify - and I trust will help me fulfil my life’s purpose as it unfolds.

Time management and sacrifice

Managing my time while respecting other people’s time has been a real learning curve. From the very beginning of our SAWIP journey, we were urged to be punctual. We were told that arriving on time meant that we had to arrive earlier than the said time. That means that arriving on the hour of the clock was considered as late. I took this to heart. My father instilled this very principle in me. This principle also largely has to do with meeting the specific, measureable, and time- oriented goals that I make for myself. Maintaining good time management has key elements of sacrifice and accountability. Although I do not always get it right, time management is a principle I strive towards.

I recall a number of times when I had to decline an invitation for a gathering of sorts from friends due to a prior SAWIP engagement. Our SAWIP year, or six month experience to be more precise, was mapped out all in advance. Inasmuch as times, dates and the program occasionally changed, we were all informed of what, where and when, in advance. Of course, we needed to allow for some flexibility when plans did not go precisely as we would have liked. During these times, I thought back to a by quote that is on my vision board by Charles Darwin. The quote reads:

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

Still on time management and sacrifice, and in line with the above quote, I remember receiving valuable insight from a mother. This memory is from a conversation I had with a lady from the International Finance Corporation (IFC) – Head Quarters where I was a SAWIP summer intern in Washington D.C. The young mother told me that you really only learn and understand what time management and sacrifice is when you become a parent.

Beautiful surprises

Pleasant surprises are beautiful. Over the past six months I have been very deliberate in giving thanks to my life experiences. There have been mundanely palatable occurrences to extraordinary events shared with exceptional individuals. It goes without mention that my SAWIP family (viz. teammates, management and executive teams, DC host fam and IFC colleagues), home family and dearest friends have been part of this experience.

One particular personal example of a cherished beautiful surprise that I experienced was at the IFC. I met a man called Mr Panda who worked at the front desk. We often spoke about jazz and poetry. During my last week at the IFC, I went to go look for Mr Panda to say goodbye. Later that week, I found him in my office about to leave a piece of paper on my desk. It was a poem entitled “Goodbye Makhosazana.”

With that, I give thanks to all the individuals who have been key role players directly and indirectly in my experience as a team member of the SAWIP Class of 2012. It has been real, a real positively life changing experience.

Sincerely

Makhosazana

PS. A toast to visionary and servant leadership that espouses unity and loving kindness!

PPS. A haiku:

valleys grow mountains

journeys are remarkable

SAWIP, I thank you

I have found myself being lost. Several times, I have been lost, and have come to find myself. As ambiguous as this is, it has been and is my story. On one hand, I have been lost due to losing direction on my way to a particular destination. While on the other hand, I have also been lost because I simply did not comprehend some or other concept, event, or situation. What holds true about being lost, is that through every encounter, I have found myself. Serendipitously, in one way or another, I have come to discover lessons that have steered me in a specific direction.

I recall being in unplanned, unfamiliar territory, and therefore lost, with company and on my own. During the times that I have been lost with a friend or two, I have always found comfort in knowing that I am not alone. Having someone with me to share in my fears and sense of adventure made the journey of finding the destination less daunting.

My recent trip to the US Consulate for my VISA application proved no different to me being lost. I had prepared as best as I could. However, I got lost along the way. I made several wrong turns. I drove around in circles. And pulled up on more than one occasion to call a friend or ask a fuel attendant to help me find direction, to safely reach my destination. During this time of frantic panic because I was lost, late and thirsty, I had to stop myself to remind myself that I would get to where I needed to go. I had to stay calm. Yes, I was running late. And I knew that there was nothing I could do then to change that. However, what was most important was my safe arrival. At this stage, time became irrelevant. I came to that realisation when I knew that panic would get me nowhere. I had to claim back my composure. The urgency of my situation, the thoughts I had racing in my mind and the vehicles around me, all had me so fixated on being lost, that I had to force myself into a mind shift. I knew that inasmuch as I could and did receive help from friends and friendly strangers, I had to navigate myself to where I needed to go. I had to be self-reliant. No one was going to rescue me. I had, in a sense, and in the words of American essayist, poet and philosopher Henry David Thoreau:

“[I] went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived.”

I recall declaring to my friend Lungelwa that I actually enjoy being lost. I enjoy the journey and lessons that come with self-discovery. I have been told, and I am learning, that one of the best things about being in your twenties is finding oneself. I believe that spending time alone is key to knowing your true self. Solitude allows us to initially stop, then re-search and re-direct.

As we continue with our daily discoveries, may we remember to ever so often STOP. May we be courageous to reassess our directions and ponder on the following:

to STOP is to Sit Think Observe Plan

Sometimes words escape me. It seems as if I cannot find the words to best explain my thoughts, ideas and feelings. I am fortunate to have found poetry. It is my outlet to try make sense of it all. Below is my first SAWIP poem, it was inspired by nature and people.

Worker ants as active citizens

Everyone stares at the big elephant in the room

They know that it cannot be moved single-handedly

The task seems overwhelmingly insurmountable

Clouds of uncertainty should not cast a shadow of doubt

The elephant is not a mountain; therefore, it can be moved

The vision is clear

Plans are made and a model is developed

A strategy is in place

Seasons change. It has always been a dynamic equilibrium

Elastic flexibility in the master plan was in place

Autumn winds and frostbite winter

Arab Spring and summer harvests

The silence is breaking

(I fail to understand why is was golden)

We are recruiting for worker ants

We are in the business of fostering symbiotic relationships

We will eat the elephant one bite at a time

Rumour has it it’s the best way to right the wrongs

Slowly, surely, trusting worker ants get to work

Together everyone accomplishes more