A blog is a written representation of a thought process, an idea or an opinion. It allows for a space where sharing and thinking can take place. If you are going to read my blogs you need to understand that my mind is constantly in conflict with itself as I try to make some sort of sense out of the world in which we live (an impossible task really).

Side note: This is incredibly challenging when you are in a team with 14 very intelligent and opinionated people who each carry a great amount of passion and knowledge on a variety of issues.

The reason that I mention this is so you understand that my blogs may not represent a 100% confident opinion as much as they represent ideas or questions SAWIP has managed to place in my confused young mind.

Moving on from this is the idea of a political imagination and more specifically the idea that our new ‘political elite’ may not embody such an imagination. On Freedom day, the SAWIP team was lucky enough to attend a lecture on South Africa's political history. Although many of us had heard the stories before, it is impossible not to take something of great value out each time.

During our lecture something that became increasingly evident to me was the innovation of those in the resistance and the constant focus on what our society should be moving towards. Although exercised in plurality, there was an originality of thought that existed as those involved in the struggle focused on the future and the potential within ‘our tomorrow’. They held onto their goals closely, always consulting with their imagination and approaching issues with a great amount of creativity.

It was not just the commitment exercised when striving forwards that stood out but rather HOW they chose to strive and the ways in which they always tried to build and create even though they were trying to tear down an unjust regime.

Recently I read that the political elite in a post conflict society lose their ‘political imagination’, meaning they tend to focus on the prevention of such a conflict arising again. It was assumed that an ‘elite’ who held a strong focus for the past would lose individual initiative and innovation thus not making any significant progress.

It is not crazy to suggest that this has happened in South Africa, that apartheid has dominated the minds of our political elite and our “youth” (yes, sorry Cara). We are trying desperately hard to avoid a repetition of apartheid or anything bearing a slight resemblance that we have allowed it to control our minds, so much so that we battle to think beyond it. Perhaps we do remember too much and bring it up too often and that by doing so we are preventing any sort of true and meaningful nation building from occurring. Perhaps we have invested too heavily in a process of prevention rather than creation.

I believe this flows into the idea of race and specifically talking about issues of race in our country. I've had this conversation many times with the SAWIP team, debating whether dialogue on such issues is a tool that creates greater division or rather promotes a sense of greater mutual understanding.

For me personally, this is something really interesting to consider. I am someone that places a great amount of importance in talking about our past. I advocate for discourse on many issues that are directly related to our past because I feel it is impossible to ignore and doing so will only increase both the inequality and tension in our society.

Recently someone informed me of the inaccuracy of the term ‘a post apartheid state’ and that I should rather employ the term ‘a post 1994 state’. To say that we live in something ‘post-apartheid’ is to assume that the legacy of such a state no longer affects us, both socially and economically and therefore there is complete equality. Perhaps we shouldn’t even call it ‘our past’ because it is presently affecting a great deal of our country.

However, maybe focusing on the past really is limiting the imagination we need if we want to be involved in the social problem solving that our country is so desperate for. Maybe allowing ourselves to concentrate so heavily on a ‘pre 1994’ South Africa has stripped us of the creativity and innovation that could bring huge amounts of change.

One could argue that finding the balance is important. Forcing ourselves to think simultaneously about our past and our future is the answer. You know how it goes “learn from your past” or something like that.

One could also argue against that.

All I know is that in 2013, as South Africans we need to be fully utilizing our imaginations. We need to be equipped with vast amounts of creativity and innovation as we prepare to answer the “HOW” question.

How can we make South Africa better?

As part of our SAWIP curriculum we are required to do 30 hours of community service before we leave for Washington DC. I chose to do mine through a non-profit organization called "Each one Teach one".

Each week we go to Lavender Hills and teach young and energetic children maths and English at a very fundamental level. We collaborate with another organization called "Mother Aid" who provide after care services to all the surrounding schools in Lavender Hills.

This has been a positively enriching experience for me and it reminds me on a daily basis how blessed I truly am. One student who has caused me to profoundly change the way in which I see the education system in South Africa, is a 15 year old girl by the name of Ashleigh Ndlovu*.

Ashleigh is a Grade 9 girl who I have been working with for the past few weeks, trying to improve her maths skills and equip her to tackle any problems that she may come across.

As I VERBALLY went through factorisation, simplification, converting fractions into percentages and a number of other fairly well known concepts in her syllabus; it dawned on me that she was a bit of a maths whizz kid. I assumed that the only reason she came for tutoring was to solidify her fundamentals and perhaps get that elusive “A”.

Upon further investigation however, I came to learn that she is currently failing maths at school and has been scraping through for a number of years. This perplexed me and saddened me deeply. It was only when we started working through exercises from the text book that the underlying problem presented itself.

Ashleigh’s knowledge and understanding of individual topics was far above the average, but when it came to figuring out what was actually being asked in a test situation, she didn’t have a clue where to start. Ashleigh’s home language was Xhosa, her 2^nd language being Afrikaans and finally her 3^rd language being English. Ashleigh attends an English school where she is taught and examined in English only.

In effect, she is being severely penalised by a factor that is out of her control and not her fault in any way. She has tremendous potential and knows all the concepts she needs to know, but based on the current examination process, she will (potentially) simply end up in the “Failure” pile and as another statistic.

Ashleigh’s story saddened me deeply and it made me wonder if she is preparing herself for a battle that she simply has no chance of winning. It made me wonder how many more Ashleighs there are in our country and what we can do to perhaps address this very sad situation. The time to act is now and I am determined to find a solution to this educational barrier to entry.

I encourage comments and potential thoughts on this pressing issue.

In the meantime, I will continue to do all I can to make sure Ashleigh has a future and can overcome the difficulties she has been faced with. Our future does depend on it after all.

*Name has been changed for privacy purposes.

It often seems that just as we come up with one term that allows us to talk about or describe a group of people with ease, they go and challenge that label. The youth in particular is all about rejecting labels. It seems that the latest to be rejected after hipsters and ‘change-makers’, is ‘The Youth’. This term, a favourite amongst the ‘youth of today’, politicians, our parents and avid tweeters is one we hear spoken about all of the time. The youth are the future of South Africa; The youth are apathetic; The youth “are not offended enough”; The youth “should avail itself”; The youth should be talking about …; The youth must …; The youth should….

This post is by no means a ‘watch your jargon’ lesson. Words and terms come and go; most often we merely replace terms that we no longer like with ones that look and sound different, but essentially mean the same thing and will be used the same in the same, sometimes mindless and unintentional fashion. The fact that in this blog entry I am likely to now just swap ‘the youth’ for ‘young people’ proves this. The point of this piece is just to share something interesting that I have observed, so bear with me, especially if things get sticky and controversial.

As I mentioned the term, ‘the youth’ is as ancient as, well, as 'young people' are not. However, more and more, when it is used I find myself catching a few shared glances, eye-brow raises, and the same question being asked “Who is the youth?” amongst the young listeners. Why is this? Or rather and more importantly, why is this interesting?

Let me use the ‘Born Free’ generation (something quite close to home as my team might note) as an example. When I think of this term, it makes me think of a generation of young people who are free, first and foremost. I associate a sort of privilege with this label, and sense a special kind of pending responsibility that comes with it. We know that the 1993-babies did not choose this term for themselves, just as no youth has never chosen to be called 'not offended enough' , apathetic, idealistic or even bright. In fact, many may challenge the notion of being free and privileged. Alluding to the same generation which I spoke about in my last post, I am sure the older generation of leadership in South Africa did not necessarily call themselves ‘heroes’ when they were young, as we label some of them today. Perhaps they did not even call themselves leaders. It is more likely that when they were young, they would have been ‘the youth’ and even in the absence of twitter, people would have said: “the youth are in revolt” or “the youth are violent, unruly”. What is significant is not how this term excludes many young people who were not in revolt, who were not angry, and who may today be called apathetic or ‘ inadequately offended’ themselves. What is interesting is that this generation took ownership of its labels and in doing so, its story, whether consciously or unconsciously.

I look up to catch these moments of shared thinking, or smiles or winks between my team all the time. What I have spoken about here might not be a sentiment that we all share, but I still see us as a small sample of young South Africans ready to challenge generalisations, or alternatively embodying the complete opposite them. It delights me that we are so selective and critical about accepting a purpose or narrative (here's some more jargon) that anyone else may give us, especially as we dabble in our generational identity crises with the rest of South Africa.

Never in my life have I been required to be as organised as I’ve had to be in the last few weeks. Never before have I had to keep a diary and pens nestled away in my pockets for when I check up on friends or make plans to see them.

“Thursday night?” A frantic flick to the required date – Alas! – not to be: I'm being psychoanalysed for SAWIP.

Don't ask.

[“But the last Tuesday in September’s looking pretty free at the moment. How bout I pencil you in...mid-afternoon fine?”]

Though it is rough and all of us in the team are working hard at managing everything, the nice thing is that we are all in the same boat. We are not unique in this either and it extends beyond us as well; people, friends and family are busy in their own lives, trying to coordinate their own wants, needs, loves and hates. A quick peak over the side of our boat shows a never-ending fleet of others, each tossed around on this wild sea, some looking terrified, some determined, some trying to steer their ship, others being sick over the side. The world concerns itself with being busy.

The night before Worker's Day last week was my first evening of respite in a while and I arrived back to my room and collapsed. I desperately needed to see some scarce friends, but I realised that I didn't know what a single person was doing that night, and the lure of deep sleep and mindless trash on TV was unfortunately too strong. I began wondering as to what exactly this 'busyness' is that I've found myself caught up in.

Being busy should, hopefully, imply doing things that you think have a purpose, whatever that may be. My last post mentioned the inspiration I draw from our team in pushing myself to be excellent in what I do. Even if I never strove solely for it, to me, excellence has always implied what we regard as a standard explanation; being the best you can at each thing that you do, whether it's in your academics, relationships, service to community, sport, your own personal development, etc. There is no doubt that in my life some of these are taking a hit at the moment – I’ve clearly bitten off more than I can chew – yet I'm happy with this state of affairs where I’m not achieving quite as much in certain areas as I would have liked. Why is this?

It’s because now I see excellence in a broader sense, a greater overarching idea of being the most useful you can be, given everything that you are doing. I hope you’ll forgive me for diving into economic jargon, but it’s a sort of overall maximisation of excellence that we seek – as opposed to in specific areas – that weights the different things we are doing based on the importance (and costs) we attach to each outcome that we want; the best net result that we can attain. Ideally, we learn to trade off what does not fit into this picture (although we struggle to figure out what these aspects are) and remove them from the equation while maintaining a balance in our lives. But this sounds quite lazy.

In our group we’ve chatted about it before, but this idea of balance is interesting. It’s often expressed in a good way, a necessary means of keeping all aspects of life in sync and not becoming bogged down and lost in one area. But it may also be the opposite, a tacit excuse to justify not striving for excellence, an excuse not to give attention to things you know you should probably direct more focus towards.

I do believe in being aware of this balancing act, perched as we are on a sort of multi-dimensional see-saw. But maybe we do not need to remain in equilibrium at every point in time; we might, in fact, never be stable, always flailing our arms in certain directions and struggling to stay upright. What if we should see this idea of balance as a long term idea, that over time (don't ask me how long) we shift to keep balanced overall even if we pendulum in the present from one extreme to the other? Like slow tectonic shifts in the deeper bases on which we build our lives even as we run around trying to get things done. We all feel this; sometimes it's good to be uncomfortable, drained, outside your comfort zone, off-balance.

I am enjoying this busy state at the moment; I find it exhilarating even as I feel myself being exhausted. For two reasons:

1. I feel like I am pushing my boundaries, exploring what I’m capable of; when I work late, move non-stop, miss my friends and family, stop doing the things I enjoy, I know that these are testing who I am and what I want. It’s also making me continuously re-assess what and who I regard as important.

2. I feel that most of what I'm doing is actually useful to what I want to do in the future.

I am not pretending in any way that I live every minute of my day with purpose and drive and zeal. Far from it; I know that I can be lazy and I know when I need down-time. But driving yourself hard, pushing your limits, reaching out and stretching for your goals gives you a sense of elation. And when those end goals are things you regard as valuable to yourself as well as to others, there can’t be too many greater feelings.

Except when you keep getting stabbed by pens in pockets.

It is the best thing to live your life with “informed decisions” than living your life by default because we only have one life! Things that you do are you doing them out of your own will or you are programmed to believe that you do them out of your own will?

Nowadays one does not need to be a well educated individual to notice that the world is going through a major shift. Political parties are battling over one another, our so called leaders making suspicious decisions and the environment is crying for help (global warming). Sometimes you would hear elders say “times has changed” is it really times that have changed or the generation? I don’t believe time is the case here, but the generation might be the case.

I believe life was meant to be both good and bad, if there weren’t bad times in life who would know how good life can be? In every situation we find ourselves in, we just need a proper manner to respond to the situation. Sometimes we cannot change the situation at all, but one thing you can do is to make a wise decision/ response. Time has not changed at all; we just lack the element of making wise choices and decisions.

In most cases it is up to an individual to choose to be a victim under the mercy of circumstances or to be a victor of the circumstances. Once you become a victim, you seat and point fingers at other people, complain. However when you choose to be a victor, you always see possibilities through any circumstances you find yourself in. You are always positive and you have a strong belief that you will make it through.

Through our low self-esteem and ignorance we too claim that things are not the same as olden days. We need to consciously create our own reality by making good choices and believing things will work out fine. Robin Banks once said “we should take our minds as gardens with fertile soil. Whatever you plant in it grows.” Imagine if you always focus on how poor you are, chances are you are not going to realize that you can be rich too. What our minds focus on is what they will create. We urgently need to focus on the bright side.

In this regard I wish we could all stand back, look, listen and advice our family and friends about decision making. From the session we had at Robertson with my SAWIP team, I could see that, school learners have allowed themselves to be controlled by their home situations. We need to act as true leaders and instill the ideology of HOPE to the Robertson learners, and alert them about the importance of decisions they make in their lives, that they need not to be the victims of their situations. If at least we can make one learner realize how important it is to step upon your problems, I can be very motivated. In times of change we need leaders who believes that “the difference we make matters” as Cecil Mandilakhe Lwana puts it. We need to stay awake in times of change.

When you start to care, you can’t stop. But the more you care, the more it burdens you. And you start asking yourself: is it even worth it? These questions buoyantly come to surface when you see yourself as some one who was placed on this world to change it.The past few weeks have been filled with great discussions and critical thinking about current situations that face the global village, in most of these discussions one is usually left feeling hopeless about ever changing these crises.

Many people want to change the world and this is a noble cause, but rather unrealistic don’t get me wrong I am not oblivious of all the wrongs that the world is facing nor the change one person can make. But my problem with the approach is that it gives one an unhealthy identity about themselves and what they are capable of doing.

The idea of wanting to carry the sins of the world and fix every wrong is wrong. We should not aspire to change the world but to make a difference, because making a difference is a process that leads to the changing of the world. When a person thinks that he can change the world this creates unrealistic supremacy identity, what I personally call the Messaih complex. The world is a complex structure it requires cooperation from diverse individuals working together for a common vision of making this world a better place for all.

Better than doing things with the propensity to change the world, we should start doing things with the intentions to make a difference, by doing that we subconsciously influence others to start doing things that make a difference too and the best way to convince other people is to lead by example.

We are not here to change the world, but to make a difference, and watch our difference changing the world. Every effort counts, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem. Just do something, and do something good.

This blog will form part of a series of blogs I will be writing on the idea of a born free generation.

Over the course of the last few weeks I have had the opportunity to experience several different perspectives our country and how far we have come since 1994. Transformation, reconciliation and the promotion of social justice (call it whatever you wish) are concepts and in fact ideals which lie quite close to my heart. I come from a middle class Afrikaans upbringing which was in all honesty quite privileged. I say this not neccesarily because I have some guilt to get rid of, but rather because it has influenced and to a large extent determined my perspective on our beloved country. Literally it came from quite high up on Paarl mountain, figuratively it was even further removed from reality.

My family originally comes from a town not far from the Winelands called Robertson. Neither of my grandfathers had a University education (quite standard for the times), both if them in fact didn't even complete high school. My dad studied law on a bursary while my mother's side of the family still reside as farmers in the Robertson region; the same region which we recently visited for research as part of our SAWIP community service projects.

One of my friends commented about six months ago on a blog I had written that we should have a term called an "Ad Apartheid". The term refers to the fact that in any argument or conversation in SA, someone will eventually resort to bringing up apartheid. They said it tongue in cheek with reference to myself blaming apartheid as one of the primary causes of the unrest which lead to the farm workers strike. It all feeds into some form of apartheid fatigue where people (especially those from the privileged part of our community) groan and turn away whenever someone mentions apartheid. Apartheid ended 20 years ago, we all acknowledged that it was wrong, lets get on with fixing the country, right?

While I believe that by far the majority of my generation admit that apartheid was wrong, I'd like to question their volition in this regard. Because the apartheid system was so obviously untenable due to social and economic reasons we often don't grasp just how morally abhorrent it really was. How could one tenth of a population oppress the majority? The homelands system was fundamentally flawed while sanctions crippled us economically. From a young age I've been told and taught (or learned as they would say where I come from) just how wrong apartheid was; so much so that I've never had to question it for myself. I'm opening up a bit of a Pandora's box by saying it but I don't think my generation (and maybe our society in general) fully appreciate how wrong it was, especially in those facets which are the closest to us.

It is easy to admit that the system was evil, it is more difficult to admit that when it touches you personally. It is not that we are personally liable (of course not you were barely born) but that does not exclude some type of general (and sometimes involuntary) complicity. Apartheid was wrong, but would you admit that your fathers job was unfair? Would you admit that the home you grew up in is was unjust? Are you prepared to admit that your heritage is littered with injustice, with wrongfulness and with a distinct lack of humanity?

I am not asking you to be racked with guilt, or to burn all of your material possessions in repentance; I'm just asking you to know yourself, and think a bit deeper where you come from.

It is as simple as that. Anything we do for others means nothing if it is not done with love. This is the message I found highlighted in our community service/interaction session in Robertson on Saturday 4 May 2013. The motto of the Graham and Rhona Beck Skills Centre is “nothing less, than our utmost best”. It is always heartwarming when you meet individuals who are willing to give so selflessly back to their community. It is, however, sad when you find that they feel that the change they want to see is not happening fast enough. It is easy for us to congregate and decide what we can do to contribute towards the well being of a community which we are not a part of because in essence, whatever the outcome may be, it will not affect our own well being. As a team it is different for us. We are passionate about making a difference, leaving our mark, being impactful. Yet, we realize that we are faced with constraints beyond our control. It causes me great frustration that we can only do so much in such a short period of time and hope that it is sustainable and has a ripple effect throughout the community. I could relate to so much of the challenges the people of Robertson are faced with because it is very similar to that of my own community. The issues of teenage pregnancy, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, substance abuse, and the issue that moves me the most because of its often overlooked importance, the lack of community leaders and role models. The problem that people seemed to be having was that they could not see life beyond the mountains that surround them. What we would consider a stunning view was a major hindrance for the development of this community because no one could see a future beyond it. The fact that the elders of the community lacked this vision is somewhat expected because as humans do, they get comfortable and prefer the known and start resisting change. However, it is shocking to find that none of the youth have dreams beyond that mountain. They are uninspired, unmotivated and unambitious. This of course is not an insult at all to the youth of the community but rather what should be seen as a result of the lack of guidance and leadership. They have never come across anyone in the community who has gone beyond the mountain and come back to tell tales of their successes in order to encourage them to do the same. They have no one to admire or to describe as the person they wish to be like some day. There is no one to uplift them and motivate them to dream big. I was lucky enough to grow up in a community where domestic violence, substance abuse, teenage pregnancies and youth dropping out of schools are rampant issues. However unfortunate this may seem, my fortune can be measured by the guidance I received through love by my mother. I had someone who thought of me as their greatest investment and who encouraged me to work hard towards my dreams and never give up. To summarize my thoughts, I end with these three quotes: “The world lies in the hands of those who have the courage to dream and who take the risk of living out their dreams – each according to his or her own talent.” – The Valkyries “Love does not ask many questions, because with thinking comes fear. This might be the fear of being scorned, being rejected or breaking the spell. However ridiculous this may seem, that is how it is. This is why one does not ask, one acts.” – By the river Piedra I sat down and wept. “To teach is to show what is possible; to learn is to make yourself possible.” – The Pilgrimage

Personal growth is a process of learning, unlearning, and relearning. SAWIP promotes and facilitates personal growth (i.e. learning, unlearning, and relearning) through its curriculum, as well as through the interactions that take place during and between scheduled events. One of the many lessons I have learnt (or more accurately, relearnt) over the last four weeks pertains to listening.

Listening is an underrated (and an essential leadership) skill. It is arguably the most valuable and the least understood skill of leadership. In my experiences (involving both myself and others), people often (ask questions and) listen with the intent to reply, to advise, to challenge, to ‘educate’, or to solve; they do not listen with the intent to (first) understand. The power of asking meaningful questions and then listening with the intent to understand is the power to influence hearts and minds. More consequentially, it is the power to meet a core desire – to be heard and understood. People want to be listened to, and they want people around who will listen.

A man who once met Sigmund Freud described Freud’s manner of listening as follows: “It struck me so forcibly that I shall never forget him. He had qualities, which I had never seen in any other man. Never had I seen such concentrated attention. There was none of that piercing ‘soul penetrating gaze’ business. His eyes were mild and genial. His voice was low and kind. His gestures were few. But the attention he gave me, his appreciation of what I said, even when I said it badly, was extraordinary. You have no idea what it meant to be listened to like that.”

I will never have the opportunity to interact with Sigmund Freud, but I can relate to the experience of the gentleman who met Freud and conveyed, in the quoted words above, what that experience was like. On a few occasions in 2012, I had the fortunate opportunity to interact with a prominent South African. What most struck me about this individual is his ability to listen with presence; to make you feel, simply by the manner in which he listens, like there is nothing more important to him in that moment than you. Even though I do not remember everything that he and I spoke about, I will never forget the way I felt when listened to with such authenticity, presence, and unreserved attention.

Listening imparts a great deal of respect. When one listens with authenticity, presence, and unreserved attention one makes an instant impression, and builds a solid bridge for lasting connection and potential collaboration. Who can resist being around someone who suspends his/her thoughts and judgement in order to value yours?

I end with a few quotes (that I have attempted, and hopefully have managed, to arrange ‘logically’) that, I think, better convey the thoughts that I have endeavoured to express in this blog:

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” – Ralph Nichols

“The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.” – Rachel Naomi Remen

“The saddest part about being human is not paying attention. Presence is the gift of life.” – Stephen Levine

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never do.” – Ernst Hemmingway

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” – Winston Churchill

“People love to talk but hate to listen. Listening is not merely not talking, though even that is beyond most of our powers; it means taking a vigorous, human interest in what is being told us. You can listen like a blank wall or like a splendid auditorium where every sound comes back fuller and richer.” – Alice Duer Miller

“He did it (listened) as the world's most charming and magnetic people do, always asking the right question at the right time, never fidgeting or taking his eyes from the speaker's face, making the other guy feel like the most knowledgeable, brilliant, and intellectually savvy person on the planet.” – Stephen King

“It is the province of knowledge to speak And it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

“The word 'listen' contains the same letters as the word 'silent'.” – Alfred Brendel

“Silence is a source of great strength.” – Lao Tzu

My grandmother had 23 grand children, one day she calls me aside, she had a serious look in her face , the one she usually gives us when we have stolen sugar or her coins. She says to me “ I have been watching you ,my heart quickly went to tachyarrhythmia. She continues and says “ I think you are really special. I think you will do great things for the world. I said ewe makhulu(yes grand-ma), She further says but I want you to promise me three things. Promise to take care of my daughter your mother, that did not sound too bad I love my mother so I quickly replied yes grandma, secondly I want you to promise to always do the right thing even if the right thing is not popular or comfortable. Ewe Gogo (yes grandma). She continued to her last request “Mandilakhe (she only uses my Xhosa name when I am in trouble or she is talking of a serious matter)Promise me to never drink alcohol. I was still quite young then so I said ewe makhulU.

This one Christmas eve my cousins and I were going to swim in the river, my older cousin comes with a carry pack of liquor with 6 green bottles in it. He takes one bottle and starts drinking, my other cousin takes one. Remembering Gogos words I declined. They both look at me as if I was crazy, come- on Cecil you always do everything we do, just take, I said no. My elder cousin looks surprised and continues to say , is it because of what Gogo told you? I acted naive “no, what are talking about? Gogo tells all her grand children that they are special and they will do good things for the world. I was heart broken.

Drinking is a big problem in many South African communities, it poses huge treats to our families structures, health and justice system. Drinking is a leading cause of death in our roads, a leading cause of domestic violence. The Western Cape alone in South Africa has double the numbers of babies born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome than the next province on the list, this is a new form of child abuse and it should be addressed urgently. Medically speaking alcohol has been proven to inhibit the processes of the neo-frontal cortex (the front portion of the brain) responsible judgment and reasoning.

Recently I have been attending events where a glass of wine with a cigarette in between your index and middles finger seems to be a sophisticated and diplomatic way of having a good conversation. It is amazing how much things people are able to do with their mouths, in one of the events I was at, a young lady was chewing gum, sipping wine and talking all at once if this is not dangerous then I don’t know what is. Big business deals are discussed over a smoke-break , and choices are made by drunken people. We can only live in a healthy country once we start making healthy choices .

One of the best things about the 2013 SAWIP team is the conversations that we have together. Last week Saturday during our trip to the Graham and Rhona Beck Skills Centre in Robertson, we discussed women empowerment and the issue of rape and whether it’s just about men wanting power or is there more to it. Different theories and opinions regarding the matter came up. In the end I felt super emotional and angry about the fact that in a democratic South Africa women out there are subject to oppressive men and their immediate community does nothing about it because it’s happening so often that society has become numbed to how sinister the matter really is.

During the 2012 December holidays, I spent about three weeks in my rural home in Matatiele. My younger brother was going to have his traditional coming out (post-initiation school) ceremony and as his sister I had to support him by being there to help with any work that needed to be done in preparation. On one of the days, the other village girls and I had to carry buckets of Umnqombhoti (African beer) and inqodi (home-made Marhewu) up to the boys on the mountain. Because we are not allowed to see the boys still going through initiation school, the elders who oversee the boys meet us at a point on the mountain to receive the buckets from us.

The elders take the buckets to where the young boys are staying and we wait about an hour or so for the buckets to be returned back to us empty. While we wait for the buckets, some of the 20-something and 30-something year old elders linger around us girls and approach some of us. I was one of the girls to be approached by a man who demanded my cell phone number and promised to come to my house and speak to my dad about paying lobola for me so that I could be his wife. I told him I wasn’t interested and he seemed outright shocked by my response. He expected me to agree with his suggestion as if I had no decision-making power in the matter.

I was completely taken aback by the man’s attitude and couldn’t stand up to him for fear that he would beat me or shout at me violently if I blatantly refused him. I, the same girl who is an educated, empowered, confident leader headed for Washington DC in June was intimidated by this stranger who believed that he is superior to me because he is a man. I could tell by the way he spoke to me that the way he viewed me is the same way he viewed many other women. I was disappointed at myself because although I know better, I felt powerless before him. How much worse for a woman who has lived in the rurals all her life and all she knows is to be treated in that manner.

I am fortunate because I do not live in the rural area permanently, and my father does not believe in arranged marriages so he would not tolerate any man suddenly coming to offer lobola for me. But in that same village arranged marriages do happen, and women are forced to marry and submit to strangers who have ‘bought’ them for a price.

My heart breaks just imagining how such a situation is some woman’s reality.

As the SAWIPers, we’ve been continuously discussing issues such as women empowerment and feminism. Where is the empowerment when a woman who experiences what I did has no say in whether she can refuse the man or not? In the case of rape, were she even to consider opening a case, the nearest police station from my village is at least 30km away. Chances are the woman would have to walk all the way to the police station. Would she receive support from her community? Would her case even be attended to?

It’s easier for me to feel strongly about this situation because I had a taste of what it feels like not to feel empowered. Now imagine how strongly I were to feel about the many other issues in South Africa were I to put myself in the shoes of people who face these issues everyday.

So should it be with us and our community interaction. We need to listen to people as they share their experiences to get a taste of what it’s really like, and then from there hear them out on what would help them out – for the solutions lie with the people.

With regards to woman empowerment in rural Matatiele, I don’t know what the solution is. But at least we can start by actually talking about it, because through conversation, we build upon one another’s observations to reach informed solutions. Woman empowerment is not about women fighting against men, it’s rather about women challenging the norms that make oppression seem acceptable. Furthermore one thing’s for sure, men need to be participants in these conversations, for we can only make a lasting change if we do it together.

WATCH: http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html

After watching this video, I was reminded that while living with a few North Americans and Europeans at boarding school in Italy, I was interrogated about a fair number of “African” stereotypes. Though, honestly the most obtuse assessment came from a grocer in a supermarket in Italy who refused to accept that I was from “the dark continent” as she called it, because I was a light mulatto, like her. There were more of those comments than I’d like to admit during my time in that country. Nonetheless, I took these and countless others as an opportunity to educate, to broaden perspectives and to explain that hyenas are not common pets in my neighbourhood (again, I am not joking).

I encountered the TED talk above in a research seminar in the Drama Department a couple of weeks ago. The root of what we do in theatre is telling stories so I feel this idea of “the single story” is something that needs to occupy our minds when we create work so we don’t fall into the trap. This clip was also my first encounter with the extraordinary Chimamanda Adichie.

I was reminded of this talk a number of times since seeing it the first time, particularly while reading Mario’s blog post and coming back from the Graham and Rhona Beck Skills Centre in Robertson on Saturday. As part of SAWIP 2013 we will be working with the skills centre to implement a self sustaining community intervention programme in one of the sectors of the community where the skills centre is philanthropically involved. We were overwhelmed by the warm welcome we received from the staff at the centre. Throughout the day we were presented with the various programmes the skill centre is involved in, either directly or through the development division of the winefarm, or through their assisting the principal at Langeberg High School. To name a few of the areas of concern: we were made aware of the apathy within the community and how that is also reflected in the lack of community driven support structures, and the problem of alcoholism and substance abuse among the youth as well as their parents.

One or two of the issues discussed reminded me of the reasons my friends and I began working in Bridgetown, an area along the N2 not unfamiliar with drugs or gangs. I began to wonder if this is the stock image we have for the representation of coloured communities in this area of the country. I know, it isn’t but I have no right deciding what other people may believe. I am not disputing the fact that there are negative social issues affecting these communities but I know there is hope in the same streets. I know there is a mother baking bread for a neighbour, or older siblings helping the young ones read, teenagers are singing in backyards or groups of children playing sport. Some of the talks spoke about the wine farm’s involvement in these areas but I think one of the ways forward will be identifying those activities in the Langeberg school community. I would have loved to engage with the learners in the community, to talk to them and understand their situation from their mouths. We will no doubt go back to do a more “on the ground” assessment later.

For any work we do to having any lasting impact it is imperative that we not look at the community through the lense of the data we know or only the general issues. This is People Centred Development; the way forward is finding solutions with individuals who make up the whole: they live there, they have the tools.

Mario’s blog post: http://www.sawip.org/sawip-team/team-blog/entry/everyone-has-a-story-the-power-of-authentically-shared-and-meaningfully-listened-to-stories

The Graham & Rhona Beck Skills Centre: www.skillscentre.co.za

On Saturday the fourth of May the SAWIP 2013 team visited the Graham and Rhona Beck Skills Centre about 15 kilometers from Robertson on a farm called Madeba. The purpose of our visit was to gain some background on the work that the Skills Centre does and of the community that it serves. This background will help us, the SAWIP 2013 team, to determine how we could serve that community when we get back from Washington DC in July and give us a picture of what the road ahead looks like. The road ahead at this stage looks more like a stretch between Fort Hare and Umtata in the Eastern Cape than a turnpike in the USA. The Head Master of the Langeberg Secondary School in Robertson gave us a presentation on the problems that he faces on a daily basis in improving the lives of his students. He explained that high levels of teenage pregnancy, substance abuse and a high prevalence of Foetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) are symptoms of a community without leadership and ambition. Parent apathy is so widespread that the Head Master noted that he would be lucky to have 25 parents attend a parent-teacher meeting for his 900 students. Broken households, abuse and abandonment really snatch away any opportunities that the children in this community may get to uplift themselves before they are even made aware of them. Some people spend their whole lives without putting a foot outside of Robertson. This fog of disillusionment becomes truly dense when one takes into account that any Further Education and Training (FET) courses that are offered by the college in the area (university education is simply out of reach) are exclusively assessed in English – the community is almost completely Afrikaans-speaking. No one enrolls in FET courses not because they aren’t competent to achieve the substantive requirements of the courses but simply because they aren’t proficient in the compulsory language of assessment. This is a reality of South Africa in 2013! A week ago we celebrated Freedom Day. Drop-outs deal drugs to soon-to-be drop-outs. If you pass grade 12 you’ll most probably not be proficient in English and without the option of studying an FET diploma the only option is joining the saturated unskilled labour market. But keep faith. I’ve always been aware of the presence of these realities. I’ve always known of the gross inequalities that exist in South Africa. These social and economic problems have existed for years; this is not a new phenomenon. But now, through SAWIP, I have the opportunity to help addressing them – and I am not alone. I have the help of fourteen other exceptional young South Africans who share a passion and determination that won’t easily be subdued. The work being done by the Graham and Rhona Beck Skills Centre is taking massive strides in allowing members of the greater Robertson community to take advantage of the freedom of a new South Africa. And there are many other organisations, with the same level of commitment and passion; that share the goal of an equal and prosperous South Africa. The road ahead is long and foggy, not without potholes and the occasional crazy taxi driver, but we’re determined to make it and most importantly – we’ll walk it together.

This being my first blog of the SAWIP programme, I think it would be fitting to give a short introduction to myself for the benefit of those reading this that haven't met me yet. Perhaps I should start with a summary (thanks to my twitter bio) and elaborate: “Law student. Stellenbosch University SRC member. Ever learning, never learned. Full of Love for South Africa and her people” I come from the friendly Jacaranda-lined city of Pretoria. We don’t have a mountain like Cape Town, vineyards like Stellenbosch or a sea that you can surf in (although the artificial waves of SunCity are only three hours away) but we have kind and good-hearted people who work hard to contribute to building a beautiful South Africa – and, when he’s not in Nkandla, J-Z lives there too. I went to the school on the hill, Pretoria Boys High School, which has a unique tradition and a very important part to play in moving our country forward. Pay their website a visit: www.boyshigh.com. After matric, I had the audacious idea of moving 1500 kilometers away from home to study in Stellenbosch. I didn’t know much about the quaint little town, let alone its university; in fact, I had only been to the town once before – in December of my grade 12 year. It was only on 7 January 2009 – two weeks before the University’s year commenced – that it was confirmed that I would move to this strange province that has fynbos instead of acacia trees, and where it rains in the wrong season. The move turned out to be a great success; I have grown immensely and made some of my best friends in this town of oak trees and wine. The strong Afrikaans culture of Stellenbosch has made me better grasp my heritage and make sense of the powerful connection that Afrikaners have with South Africa. I say this because, although my family is Afrikaans and my upbringing was a traditional one in that regard, I attended exclusively English schools up until university with the effect of me identifying with a quasi-English culture for that period. My parents will tell you that the decision to send my brother and I to English schools was in our best interest and that it was taken to ensure we had a diverse upbringing; it promoted our interaction with many cultures that are perhaps not as well represented in exclusively Afrikaans schools. What they perhaps won’t tell you is that it was a difficult decision to make. With Afrikaners on defense just after the change in dispensation, their friends and family weren’t happy with this perceived betrayal of their heritage. Nonetheless, my experience in all my years of schooling was happy and inclusive in the sense that I never doubted that my identity as, first and foremost, a South African. I started studying a rather placid degree in commerce, although my interest perked when I chose to major in economics. After finishing that degree, I moved on to take on the field of law and am currently in my penultimate year of this post-graduate LLB course. I have been involved in many different structures within the University, most-recently as a member of the Students Representative Council. More than that, I’m excited and privileged to be part of the SAWIP 2013 team. There are some pretty amazing South Africans part of it. Some who have, at the drop of a hat, sacrificed a lot to be part of this experience simply because they believe in the value that the programme has in South Africa. I look forward to walking this road with them.

I struggle to write this blog post. Deciding what is relevant and how to phrase this madness in my head is not an easy task on this lovely Sunday afternoon. Stellenbosch Mountain sit in front of me, beckoning me to its peaks. Time for hiking is a commodity I lack at present. We agreed yesterday on the way back from the Skills Centre that we are seeing each other in the team more often than our best friends. Yet I don’t necessarily see this as a bad thing (sorry buddies). We are a new team, we are developing relationships that I think will last a long time. Looking at the SAWIP alumni, we might just end up in business or social entrepreneurship projects together. Another positive thing about spending time together is that we’re learning how to help each other “cope” as we best know the impact of SAWIP on our lives.

The impact of SAWIP is not just on our schedules. It’s moulding my thoughts and influencing the themes that keep my thoughts busy. My work for my university in multicultural education and leadership development some nights keep me up until all hours of the night, scribbling away in my journal and thinking about all kinds of things. And now SAWIP is adding to what I think and dream about. The concept of empowerment is one I have been engaged with for a while. What is it, how do we think about it, how do we empower? What is the role of words? Is enabling not rather a better one? Should we not all spend some time studying philosophy of language?

Perhaps the issue that made the biggest impression on me at yesterday’s visit to the Graham and Rhona Beck Skills Centre was the barriers that the National Qualifications Framework have in changing the profile of our nation’s skills base. We know the links between education and economic growth, education and poverty, education and human well-being, etc. How is it possible that people cannot gain qualifications due to the NQF assessment requirements? Are the rural poor, the unskilled of South Africa, not those that should be empowered? I don’t know a lot on this subject, but it feels to me that it is something that needs urgent attention. I thought I knew what I was passionate about before SAWIP, seems that new things are adding to the list. This holds interesting implications for the future – and questions about what I choose to act on most decisively. Although I value a holistic, transdisciplinary approach to life, I value also doing a good job, which sometimes means choosing your battles carefully. What do we choose to fight for or against?

This brings me to another highlight of this past week. On Friday morning I, along with some fellow Stellenbosch students, went to Cape Town. The reason for our early morning trek to the Mother City in heavy traffic was a very special one. We had the opportunity to attend a service lead by the Archbishop Desmond Tutu in St Georges Cathedral. Receiving the Eucharist from this great man was simply fantastic. I have deep spiritual connections with this man, obviously unbeknownst to him, but that’s a story for another day. After the service we went to a nearby coffee shop for a breakfast of coffee and a muffin each, and the Arch joined us! A great man. He made a comment that links well with the questions of what we choose to do as individuals. He said it is so much more difficult to fight for something today, in comparison to the struggle against Apartheid. Not that The Struggle was easy, but he meant that being for something is a great challenge. Tutu has been quoted to say that in the search for peace you talk to your enemies rather than your friends. Now, in “peace”, the challenge I (and many others) see in government is that the people that need to be challenged are friends. This is the context in which Trevor Manuel spoke out against the continued blame place on Apartheid. How do we navigate a young democracy and how do I, a young South African, choose what the role is I wish to play? Another of Tutu’s quotes seems sensible here:

Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.

The challenge I face with writing a ‘reflective blog’ is that there is so much to reflect on, so much to write about, so much to consider, that trying to refine my thoughts and create some sort of clear focus is near impossible for me (almost as impossible as trying to make a square whilst blindfolded).

Since my SAWIP journey began, I have been confronted with so many questions, whilst realising that I actually know very little, I have grown increasingly motivated to find the answers.

My questions range from “Why is Mario so elegant?” to the slightly more challenging notions of identity and “where I fit in as a white South African female?”. Not forgetting the hard and complex questions on how we should be tackling and viewing issues such as race, education and gender in our post-1994 South African society.

I think it is fitting that my first blog focus on a question that encompasses almost every other question I pose, the BIG question if you will. “Why do we care?”

During orientation camp Lwamba and I spoke about the feeling of being totally consumed by the challenges facing South Africa. This truly resonated with me, as I am sure it will with all of my teammates. This feeling is so powerful that it is almost crippling. It is a strange combination of feeling ready and willing to march straight into the trials that lie ahead whilst simultaneously feeling helpless to the immensity of such issues.

It is without hesitation that the word ‘passion’ comes to mind when I think of why a group of 15 individuals care so much (and boy, do they care) about the future of this country. The roots of such passion may differ, for some it is a result of personal backgrounds, families, and communities, whilst others find their passion despite their circumstances. For many their passion stems from a place of dissatisfaction with today or rather a vision of hope for a better tomorrow.

When such social issues consume us, our focus soon starts to shift to the potential to overcome these challenges. We start to rather acknowledge the challenges but instead allow ourselves to be consumed by the potential for positive impact (if I may use such a cliché). It is clear that as a team we have allowed ourselves to be consumed, it has become impossible for us to sit in a car together or share a meal without human rights abuses or anti rape campaigns naturally finding their way into our conversation.

This blog is not a tool intended to separate the SAWIP team from the larger South African ‘youth’ but rather act as a 15-person example in which I emphasise that collectively WE DO CARE. Constantly, we are being brushed aside as the (a)pathetic youth (I must admit I have also done this) but I think it would be a great injustice, to all of South Arica, if we do not recognise the potential of our youth.

I see it and it excites me.

Like I said earlier, I do not know all the answers, in fact I am not sure I know any, but I will keep asking the questions and instead of turning to google I will turn to my team. I have a hunch the answers to many of my questions lie with them. Just like the solutions to many of South Africa’s problems lie within our generation. A youth I view as capable despite constantly being devalued.

You’ll see.

I applied for SAWIP in secret. I was so convinced I wouldn't get into the programme that I didn't want to have to tell my friends when I’d been declined. One might ask, why apply at all? You see, I've been raised with a mentality of trying. I suppose it’s a result of my father encouraging me to take advantage of all opportunities available to me from a very young age; seeking out avenues for personal growth and education everywhere I can. It’s been my approach since I was in high school, it’s seen me awarded a variety of thrilling experiences and opportunities but also deal with the disappointment of being declined others. Either way, every time I've applied for something I've come out of the application process changed somehow.

I enjoyed writing the online application; it had been a while since I’d engaged in that level of reflection. When I pressed the “submit” button there was a definite feeling of weight lifting off my chest - my psyche’s response to finally processing experiences I hadn't revisited in a while. Each phone call I received thereafter, was met with an overwhelming feeling of disbelief as I progressed through the selection process - particularly after returning from the selection camp, where I felt entirely at peace should anyone of the 31 other candidates receive “my” place in the team. Everyone so deserved it that I wouldn't have felt robbed in anyway.

I’ll remember the phone call offering me a position on the 2013 team for a long while. Kim, the Project Manager asked me to sit down and I’m convinced I could hear a rendition of the Hallelujah chorus from Handel’s Messiah playing in my head by the end of the call.

About a month into the programme, and here we are. There’s been an intensive orientation camp, we've had a number of very informative sessions and we’re thinking critically about our approach to community intervention projects. I've already noticed shifts in my approach to topics and my conversations with people, even total strangers. I've never been afraid to speak but lately I've felt overtly empowered to speak and engage critically with my own and other people’s opinions and perspectives. This is largely due to my interactions with my SAWIP team members. I've come to realise we don’t hold back when we’re discussing things, especially the debates separate from the stipulated sessions and I love it.

I have no doubt that this programme will change me. I learnt a while back that having expectations for what we may learn is a good thing but in truth the greatest lessons are the ones we’re least expecting. These are the lessons that become part of our embodied knowledge that one only realises months down the line. The 15 of us come from vastly different backgrounds but we are all leaders, we are what I like to call “game-changers”. There is no doubt that SAWIP is an incredible opportunity but it doesn't hold the key to our future. This programme will show me a variety of doors: countless opportunities, exposure to the unfamiliar, put me in rooms with extraordinary people but it’s up to me to make use of those opportunities. For me to develop and for that development to filter down and be reflected in my community I must be ready to speak up, to engage, to challenge. Even as I write this I can feel myself getting “fired up”.

What’s ahead in the coming months? I don’t know, just that there’ll be a lot of work and sleepless nights. The other thing I’m certain of is that there’ll be doors ahead of us, many doors and I for one have a bunch of keys in my hand. ..

Yesterday we were privileged to visit the Graham and Rhona Beck Skills Centre just outside of Robertson (http://www.skillscentre.co.za/). The Centre’s staff as well as the Head Master of a local high school walked us through some of the challenges the community faces. Its one thing to know about social issues (in the most academic, general, read-about-it-in-the-paper detached sort of way) but it’s another entirely to hear about the situation from people who live and work there. I am so thankful to the Centre opening itself to the group, giving us the opportunity to learn about a town only an hour (and a bit) away.

In the Skills Centre promo video Mrs Beck speaks about how her husband was a visionary for being able to spot the farms potential. I’d have to agree. It truly is a splendid site. It’s not ‘Camps Bay sexy’, neither does it have the ‘Rolling Green Hills Of The Winelands’ feel either. It’s quiet, removed and peaceful. At the start of our visit I was on the fence about how I felt about the location and set up. After all, wouldn’t a more ‘humble’ building situated in a central spot in the Main Street have been more suited to local skills development? As the day progressed I came to appreciate the location. A few times I caught myself staring, transfixed by the beauty of both the building and its surrounds. ‘Am I at a community skills centre or a wine farm?’ *insert forehead smack* The fact we so naturally make a distinction between the standards and styles associated with these two groups – the community which produces the wine and the community which enjoys the wine – is problematic for about 20 different reasons (another blog post, another day). I commend the Foundation for the providing nothing but the best facility for the broader Robertson community. It is indicative of a genuine commitment to the best skills training and holistic personal development.

It was mentioned by one of the social workers at the Centre that, “The mountain is in the way. People have heard of Worcester [a nearby town] but they’ve never been... People aren’t prepared to go over the mountain.” Sometimes we need to take a step back and out of our zones to get perspective when we come back to our communities. Today I went over the mountain (technically through the Huguenot Tunnel, but work with me). I didn’t find anything particularly new because I’ve known (in that detached kind of way) of the challenges in the area. It was nonetheless a reminder that there is life on the other side, and my first time being in that part of the Western Cape. In my estimation the work being done by the Skills Centre is the first step to taking Robertsonians ‘over the mountain’. The skills development being facilitated at the centre is incredible. But more than that the Centre makes one (I say one because it made me feel this way and might do the same for others) feel at a distance from the rest of society. The first step to going beyond ones comfort zone is being comfortable with a distance between one’s self and the community – literally and figuratively. The mountain doesn’t only insulate one side, it does so for two. It’s easy to pity the other for their naiveté or ignorance, but the truth is both sides are equally naive, afraid and too comfortable to explore the other.

Trying to engage with a community other than your own is often tricky. It takes an awful lot of self reflection and self awareness to toe the line between useful assistance/empowerment and condescending pet project. I cannot imagine it being something which can be addressed within the next 6 months but it is something that I think is worth thinking about going forward: If the conditions which bring about a situation are systemic then can we, in all good conscious, be satisfied with not attempting to rectify the situation at that level. Whenever I catch myself saying these sorts of things I get the sense it’s time to stop, lest the urge to start singing Kumbayah overwhelms me. This idea is always simmering on the back burner in my mind, and so I have no doubt it will be a recurring theme in my SAWIP journey.

Lwamba

X

“If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one” – Mother Theresa

“I am an optimist. It does not seem much use to be anything else.” – Winston Churchill

“The leader has to be practical and a realist, yet must talk the language of the visionary and the idealist.” – Eric Hoffer

Music

(Melancholic yet hopeful. Because, in a nutshell, that’s how I felt after the trip.)

‘I’m Always Chasing Rainbows’ – Perry Como http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mci1xkJWIu4

‘I’ll Fly Away – Kanye West http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nvl9il7tymc

‘Little Boxes’ – Malvina Reynolds http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SADPuUYF_4I

‘Paradise’ – Coldplay http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G4isv_Fylg

‘Square One’ – Coldplay http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0tLS9fL1So

The beautiful Graham and Rhona Beck Skills Centre.

:-)

I smile as I write this blog because I am constantly reminded of the blessing that lies before me - SAWIP.

I remember hearing about this program in 2008, while I was a matriculant at Mthatha Christian School in the Eastern Cape. Musawenkosi Nxele, SAWIP alumni 2008, told me that he was jetting off to Washington DC to experience something phenomenal. I remember saying to myself after speaking to him, "When I am at UCT one day, I too will be a part of this program."

Fast forward 3 years later in 2011: I had been hearing amazing reports about SAWIP, but had been super scared to apply, after having seen the profiles and the bios of all the alumni. After much pondering and some persuasion from my friends, I applied for the program in 2011 anyway. I felt that the application required you to pour out yourself on paper, really expressing who you are, what you believe in, and what you stand for. I learned so much about myself in that application.

A few days later I got called in for an interview. I left that interview room thinking that I was very fortunate even to have made it that far along the application process. Then I received a call saying I had made it through to selection camp. I couldn't believe it!

Selection camp was such a daunting weekend for me. I met such strong passionate leaders who all had profound hope for South Africa. Each person was involved in unique projects. Each one had a South African story that bore a huge influence upon the type of individual and leader that they are. I was intimidated by the high caliber of leaders. I was challenged by the informed conversations and debates. I was encouraged to grow and do more as a leader. I felt honored to have met such passionate people.

At the end of selection camp 2011, I left feeling like I had just come out of a boot camp which made me realize how much I am yet to learn. The following day I received a call saying that I had not made it through to the team. I was immensely devastated, because I genuinely wanted to be a part of the team. At the same time, I was relieved because I knew that I was not ready - not ready for the vast development SAWIP provides and the responsibility the program would also present me.

Fast forward to January 2013. SAWIP had been on my mind since selection camp 2011. After much prayer and introspection, I felt that I was ready this time - and hoped that it was my time too. I sincerely appreciated the application form questions, and completely exhausted myself in each question. The application was a testimony to me of how much I had grown and how differently I viewed leadership and the world as a whole. I had now become more secure in my strengths and in how I would fit in within a team. I knew then more than ever that I was ready for what SAWIP had to offer me, and what South Africa would also expect from me too.

With the interview and selection camp, each milestone felt like I was overcoming hurdles that had scared and intimidated me before. So the selection process on its own was a journey of learning.

Now I am in the 2013 team. I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THE JOURNEY THAT HAS BEGUN. It has begun at such a perfect time as well! I love my team and am excited for us as we grow together and work together. Even as we already start to build each other up, I can already see the impact we shall make united as a team.

Above all I am humbled. God's ways a higher. God's ways are greater indeed. I look forward to the great journey that I shall witness throughout the South Africa-Washington International program. I plan to share with the world the change that SAWIP has sparked within me.